var quotes = new Array;
quotes.push("Power is Knowledge, but is Knowledge Power!");
quotes.push("Where Facts are Few, Experts There are Many - Donald R. Gannon");
quotes.push("If Man Talks to God he is Religious, If God Talks to Man, is the Man Insane ?");
quotes.push("Sometimes I Sits and Thinks and Sometimes I just Sits");
quotes.push("Death is but A New Adventure");
quotes.push("You look the sort - My Grandfather's Final words To Me God Bless him");
quotes.push("Why is everything suddenly so Awesome in life - The Grey Fish");
quotes.push("The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced - Frank Zappa");
quotes.push("There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all - Peter F. Drucker");
quotes.push("Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds - Albert Einstein");
quotes.push("A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice - Bill Cosby");
quotes.push("It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite - Same Levenson");
quotes.push("Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment -  Rita Mae Brown");
quotes.push("Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible - Mary Mcleod Bethune");
quotes.push("This One Time at Band Camp - American Pie");
quotes.push("Live Long and Prosper - Mr Spok");
quotes.push("Today we find out If iam your Daddy or The German Shepard - John Shaft")
quotes.push("I am Constand as the Northern Star - Julias Ceaser")
quotes.push("Get over yourself - Dannyboy")
quotes.push("Okay, fine. I'll father your child. But first you gotta write me a Vicodin prescription, so I can get through the foreplay - House MD")
quotes.push("...like the philosopher Jagger once said, 'You can't always get what you want. - House MD")
quotes.push("You know what's worse than useless? Useless and oblivious. - House MD")
quotes.push("Ooh, that's rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger - The Doctor")
quotes.push("Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world? - The Doctor")
quotes.push("Just once I'd like to meet an alien race that isn't immune to bullets - The Brigadier")
quotes.push("First things first, but not necessarily in that order - The Doctor")
quotes.push("We will fight them on the beaches -  The Great Winston Churchill")
quotes.push("Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein")
quotes.push("Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Alebert Einstein")
quotes.push("I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. - Mahatma Gandi")
quotes.push("My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. - Benjamin Disraeli")
quotes.push("Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. - Isaac Asimov")
quotes.push("Facts are stupid things - Ronald Reagan")
quotes.push("Guns for show, knifes for a pro - Dexter")
quotes.push("Why Mr Bond, I have been expecting you - Goldfinger")
quotes.push("Welcome to the party pal - John McClane")
quotes.push("Unfortunately no one can be told what the matrix is, you have to see it for yourself - Morpheus")
quotes.push("I know Kung fu - Neo")
quotes.push("Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that? - Dr Peter Venkman")
quotes.push("By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenge - Alexander Dane")
quotes.push("Argos catalogs are laminated to catch the tears of joy as you look through the pages - Bill Baily")
quotes.push("Until a women shows an overwhelming desire to be knee deep in s**t, it's a f**king Man Hole Cover - Billy Connolly  ")
quotes.push("Dont make me hungry, You won't like me when I am hungry - Bruce Banner 2008")
quotes.push("Just imagine the headlines 'Howard Moon, Colon, Explorer'. Got a ring to that don't it - Howard Moon")
quotes.push("Cheekbone. It's so cutting edge it goes out of date every three hours. You can't get it in the shops, it's delivered by ninjas! - Vince Noir")
quotes.push("Why dose it say ERIF on the front of fire trucks - Mr Chris Hodder")
quotes.push("What ever you do, do not blink or they will get you - The Doctor")
quotes.push("All that you see or seem, is but a dream within a dream - Edgar Allan Poe")
quotes.push("There are only two forces that unite men - fear and interest - Napoleon Bonaparte")
quotes.push("It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him. - J R Tolkien")
quotes.push("A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author - G.K Chesteron")
quotes.push("I don't necessarily agree with everything I say - Marshall McLuhan")
quotes.push("Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone - Anthony Burgess")
quotes.push("For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three - Alice Kahn")
quotes.push("Cynically speaking, one could say that it is true to life to be cynical about it - Paul Tillich")
quotes.push("Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves - Robert Anton Wilson")
quotes.push("Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Len")
quotes.push("I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that - Ellen DeGeneres")
quotes.push("Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. - Norm Papernick")
quotes.push("History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. - Abba Eban")
quotes.push("The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it. - Glaser and Way")
quotes.push("Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once. - Evan Esar")
quotes.push("The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion. - G.K. Chesterton")
quotes.push("Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. - Mark Twain")
quotes.push("I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown")
quotes.push("By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates")
quotes.push("If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. - Anatole France")
quotes.push("Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber")
quotes.push("No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. - Jascha Heifetz")
quotes.push("For Mike... I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield")
quotes.push("Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished. - Leslie Nielsen")
quotes.push("Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions. - Cullen Hightower")
quotes.push("Spare no expense to save money on this one. - Samuel Goldwyn")
quotes.push("There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option. - Jeph Jacques")
quotes.push("When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page. - Bill Clinton")
quotes.push("I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. - Emo Phillips")
quotes.push("But what is the difference between literature and journalism? ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all. - Oscar Wilde")
quotes.push("I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright")
quotes.push("Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz")
quotes.push("Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. - Brendan Gill")
quotes.push("Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. - Ron Nesen")
quotes.push("I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush")
quotes.push("I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain")
quotes.push("You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. - George Burns")
quotes.push("It Cost Five Grand of Cash - Chris Hodder")
quotes.push("Do You Have Dry Balls - Dannyboy")
quotes.push("Love can be sordid only if you work at it. - Brooke McEldowney")
quotes.push("I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. ")
quotes.push("No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. - Henery Adams")
quotes.push("When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman")
quotes.push("Now that I am not a cop do you think that makes me more or less dangerous - Shaft")
quotes.push("Who delivers ten times outta ten? - Shaft")
quotes.push("Jenkins! Chap with the wings there -- five rounds rapid. - The Brigadier")
quotes.push("Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey - The Doctor")
quotes.push("Good place to put things - cellars. - The Doctor")
quotes.push("You can take Sex and Violence off the TV, but where you gonna put em - Stephen Fry on a Bit of Fry & Laurie ")
quotes.push("It is! It's the city of New New York! Strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New New York. - The Doctor")
quotes.push("I don't know where we're going but my old hand's very excited about it! - The Doctor")
quotes.push("Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger! - The Doctor")
quotes.push("I am never late, I arrive precisely when I mean too")
quotes.push("Blimey, if that skirt was hitched any higher I could see what you had for breakfast - DCI Gene Hunt")
quotes.push("Today my friend, you diary entry will read Took a prozzie hostage and was shot by three armed bastards - DCI Gene Hunt")
quotes.push("it's as fake as a Tranny's Fanny - DCI Gene Hunt")
quotes.push("Take that seat belt off! You're a police officer, not a bloody vicar - DCI Gene Hunt")
quotes.push("She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot - DCI Gene Hunt")
quotes.push(" Ray come in to work dressed as a maths teacher again, i will paint your balls the colour of chessnuts and inform a bunch squirels winter is coming - DCI Gene Hunt")
quotes.push("More cunning than a fox that's been made Professor of Cunning - Baldrick")
quotes.push("Anything happens to this motor, I'll come around your houses and stamp on all your toys. Got it? Good kids - DCI Gene Hunt")
document.write(quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]);